"Checking all these different portals, just to get rejected by 7 technologies"

Lately I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of the ways in which you can have contact with someone. And how creepy some of our different portals of communication can be. 

Conversations start with messaging on POF... which is not a very good chat set up. What makes it worse is that if you're online trying to chat with someone, there is no way to appear "offline." So, you appear online to others, come up faster in searches, and end up with a lot more messages.

As the conversations start to progress, there is usually a push to communicate in some other fashion. I don't usually initiate, but I am happy when it happens. There are a few different ways this can go.

1. iMessage (texting)

The next step is generally texting, and I am usually okay with giving them my phone number so that we can text. It's a lot easier than using the POF website, and pretty much harmless.

Side note - It turns out that of the 13 guys I have texted, NINE of them have iPhones! That's 70%! Kinda crazy if you think about it. 

So for those of you who don't have iPhones, when you text with another iPhone, you use iMessage, which doesn't use texts from your plan (uses data/wifi instead, and can be used when there is no cell signal if you have wifi) and shows up as this pretty blue color. Sometimes with iPhones, people give read receipts, which show up like this: 

Or if it's the same day, it shows the time instead of the date.

Also, it only shows the read receipt for the last text message read. So you can't look back and see when each one was read. At least not that I know of.

I turn read receipts off on my phone. I don't necessarily want people to know that I read their texts.

2. Facebook

#12 was the first to bring up connecting on Facebook, but I chose to text with him instead. There is a lot on Facebook that I'm not sure I want someone to know if I don't know them. 

However one day I was greeted by this:

And it was #5. And then the next day it was banjo boy. I was in Republic with Aunt Patty (poster weekend) and she didn't think there was a problem with accepting their friend request. 

#5 and I were already texting, so I just told him that I wasn't ready for Facebook stalking (I actually told him that). I did decide that I was OK with Facebook stalking banjo boy (maybe more curious about him), and so his request was accepted, and we started chatting via Facebook. Facebook also gives read receipts, but that's not all. This is where social media starts to get creepy. 

First, I discovered that if you search in the chat section for a person, it gives you some idea of when they were last on Facebook.

I haven't totally figured out their system, but from what I can understand, green means they are actively on Facebook  It might mean on a computer. I don't know about the cell phone, but the creepiest one is the cell phone with time next to it. Like in this tells me that Mike Slagle was on Facebook 3 hours ago. So if I saw he read my text 5 hours ago, but then I look and see he was active on Facebook 3 hours ago, I might start to wonder, why hasn't he written me back yet! He saw my Facebook message and was even on Facebook after that! 

Or another example would be that Mike hasn't responded to my text message that I sent him 20 minutes ago, but Facebook tells me he was on Facebook on his phone 12 minutes ago....so I know he was on his phone. He had to have seen my text! I think you can see where this is going. 

But it's not even the creepiest part yet.

Facebook shows you where the person was when they sent you the message, if they sent it from their phone. Don't believe me?

Now I know where Banjo Boy lives!

3. Voxer

Voxer is a walkie-talkie app. Apparently when #12 added me in his phone, I also appeared in his Voxer since we both have Voxer. Kinda crazy how everything is linked up like that and it just knows it have it. So we started Voxing (?) and it turns out that Voxer also shows the location! Creepy again!

Now I know where Rob (#12 not #5) lives!

4. Snapchat

Snapchat is an app that lets you view a photo or video for ten seconds or less (sender can determine the amount of time), and then it is deleted. I'm sure we can all guess what the programmers had in mind (designed by college kids in 2008). Snapchat doesn't have quite the creeper status as the rest, but it does let you know if the snap was viewed, if that person took a screenshot of it, and the top three people that all of your friends snapchat with.

Some other forms of communication that don't get mentioned:

5. email

(got one from #3)

6. phone call

(#4, #5)

7. voice message

(got one from #4)

8. regular mail

(none, but I like mail)

9. FaceTime

(the Skype of apple products)

(#5)

10. showing up uninvited at my house 

(since they know approx where I live thanks to facebook!)

(also, none yet!)

So here we are, with all of these different forms of connecting with each other. It can be exhausting. And most have phone notifications, so you know when someone has messaged you, or send you a voice thing on voxer, or a snap chat, or a facetime request, etc., but somehow I still find myself checking them, just in case I missed the notification!

Aaaaaannddd...In closing, I think this video pretty much sums it up.

(From He's Just Not That Into You)

Banjo Boy (or He Who Shall Not Be Numbered), and My Personal Ad.

A few weeks ago I started messaging online with Banjo Boy. He looked cute and said in his profile that he plays banjo in a bluegrass band, which is pretty cool. 

Here's Kenny & Amanda Smith band:

While I was working on the chart with Aunt Patty (see yesterday's post), we thought about adding him but at that point in time, we weren't texting, which is how they get numbered, so banjo boy became He Who Shall Not Be Numbered. (If he were numbered, he would be #14, since we're skipping 13 in case it's bad luck). He facebook friended me, which eventually I decided was good so that I could do a more thorough internet stalking of him. Looks like he mostly just plays his banjo a lot, or that's what most of his pictures are of. Sort of makes me wonder if he has TIME for anything (anyone?) else but I suppose I don't want anything too serious right now anyway.

Which brings me to, what do I want? After Uncle Rob outlined HIS ideal man for me, I thought I should think about that a bit for myself. I purposefully left that part out of my profile. I just put out there who I am and let people come to me. However this is what I've come up with for a personal ad:

Looking for someone who is fun, has a good sense of humor, is a bit outdoorsy, somewhat spontaneous but also likes to plan things out. You should be manly and also not too skinny. You should take care of your body but not be a crazy gym rat, and I'm not too into cyclers or mountain biking. I can't explain it, but it's just not something I find attractive. I would like to find someone to go camping with, cook dinners with, take random day trips or weekend trips with. A little dorky, but also cool, interesting, and have SOMETHING in your life that you are really excited and/or passionate about.

I'm not too into "sweetheart" or roses. Especially in the beginning, and definitely not if I haven't met you and we are only talking online.   

Remember, I am a Gemini. We are the twins of the zodiac. Sometimes I may seem fickle, so you might need to work a little bit to keep it interesting for me. They also say we are a bit two faced...I like to take that as being multi-faceted. "On one hand, the Gemini can be outgoing, flirtatious, communicative, and ready for fun, fun, fun. Yet when the other twin is present, you can find this air sign contemplative, serious, restless, and even indecisive." It would be to your advantage to learn how to decide which one of me is present very quickly. So you should probably be a pretty perceptive person. Lots of people compare Geminis to butterflies, so be careful not to try to contain me too much. Think of a butterfly net, not a glass jar. However, life is never boring with a Gemini around, and I've never met a Gemini who I didn't like. 

I would like someone who would want to be casually exclusively dating for the first few months (this means we are not serious but we are not dating anyone else). After 3-4 months, you should be begging me to be your girlfriend - but not before then. Then about a year and a half later, you'll be wanting to propose to me, so you should probably start saving up now. Actually you can make that two years, it doesn't hurt to make me wait a little bit.  

Deal-breakers: smoking (weed or cigarettes); people who get wasted every weekend; not wanting children; calling me "sweetheart" before we've met; trying to hold my hand, kiss me, or rub my back on the first date; being anti-religion; not liking country music; shorter than 5'7"; beards longer than 1/2"; mustaches; blonde hair;

Deal-makers: drives a truck; taller than 6'; snowboards; is a thoughtful present-giver (who doesn't like that?), close with their family; knowing how to separate colors, delicates, and fold clothes; brown hair; knows how to do home-repairs/remodels (important for the future); 

Comments? Do you think this fits me?

The Perfect Man

I visited the Slagle's for Labor Day weekend. Aunt Patty, her friend Katy, and Katy's daughter Jenna made this poster for me. They hung it one the back of the door to the bedroom that I was staying in. Then we took it down and finished filling it out.

Any information on the poster she got off of the blog, and our conversations. #11 is Uncle Rob's creation - the perfect man. It says something along the lines of: 

Owns a boat, has a 100,000 acre elk ranch in Montana, cabin on the Kenai peninsula, likes to shrimp, crab, and clean fish. Won the lottery.

And there you have it, the perfect man.

#1-10 Summary

The last week, my POF activity has really increased and so I apologize for the confusion and trying to keep up! I've been asked for a list so here is a summary of everyone so far, for your clarity, and for mine.

Italicized are out. Bold are still an option.

# 10

#10 - haven't met him yet - from Tennessee. Was in the military and now does works as a civilian doing some military training.

#9 - Met him for coffee the other day. Mutual disinterest.

#8 - Was supposed to go to the rodeo, ended up meeting at a cool country bar in Cumberland, WA (BFE) and then getting Mexican. The weekend prior, he broke up with his girlfriend of two years who was a recovering addict and lived with him without working and was a slob.

#7

#7 - Met for beer and apps on Monday afternoon at the spur of the moment. He drove a cool old truck (don't ask me what) and seemed like a nice guy. Lives with his dog in the mountains in a log cabin that his parents recently bought (they don't live there) and is working on remodeling it. Haven't heard from him except right after we met. Maybe he's not feeling it. I should ask him perhaps if he's up for meeting again, but maybe not.

#6 - sent me distasteful texts. I ignored him after that.

#5

#5 - Rob - definitely leading the pack right now. FaceTimed last week with him, met him for coffee Sunday, and FaceTimed again last night for quite a while. Really cool guy. From Alaska, was in the marines for 5 years I think. Went to school to be an audio engineer, finished in May and is completing his internship right now. He does the sound stuff for live shows so he's working some big festival in Seattle (Bumbershoot?) this weekend. Lives with his brother and another roommate who is an acupuncturist.

#4 - Stopped talking to me. See "Out with the old. In with the new"

#3 - Told him I wasn't interested after meeting him twice. It sucks telling people that.

#2 - Met once (first online date I went on actually) and wasn't really interested.

#1 - Asked me too much about my diarrhea. Speaking of him I hadn't heard from him for three weeks and he started texting me, that his back was bothering him and he was going to go see a chiropractor. I was polite. Then saturday he texted me to see if I wanted to go to the Mariners game (which I didn't really). He didn't take the let down very well. Maybe I could have been nicer. I thought it was obvious when we didn't talk for two weeks. Also notice he took a whole 26 hours to respond back. Had to think up a good one.

Date with Eight

Was just asked to go to the Enumclaw Rodeo tonight with Larry, who is now #8. Have not made up my mind yet, but rodeos are always fun!

However I did the usual and customary Facebook stalking and found he has two friends in common with Joe! One of them is a good college friend of Joe's who was with us on New Year's Eve. 

Eeek!

5, 6, 7....

There's no 8 yet.

#5 got added Monday. He is Rob (as you saw in the previous post) - he is an audio engineer and lives down in Seattle. He looks cute in his pictures but our conversations for a bit were making me think he might 1) be a conspiracy theorist or 2) be surrounded by conspiracy theorists. We FaceTimed the other night on our computers and he seemed pretty normal, so we'll see. We tentatively set a date for Wednesday night!

#6 came on board Tuesday but he didn't really make it through the day. He sent me photos that were a bit too risque for Day 1 of texting and so I just stopped responding. I'm not going to share them.

#7 I think was added Wednesday...I haven't gotten a good feel for him, but he seems potentially good too. He lives up by Kachess Lake, but works somewhere in the Seattle area. He's living in his family's log cabin, working on fixing it up and saving some money in the mean time. He has a dog, likes to fish and camp and do that kind of outdoorsy stuff.

I have been asked a few times about #4...Still have not heard from him. #3 texted me last week and asked if there was any interest. I politely told him no. And #1 (diarrhea asking guy) also texted me a few times this week but I haven't really encouraged that conversation.

And seriously, what is up with all the dolphin pictures? Here are some more...

Juggling 4 or 5 guys

Has he been reading my blog?

Out with the old. In with the new!

Well I know many of you were pulling for #4, but.....turns out he too is a jerk and stood me up on Friday night! So instead of Anya tracking my every move from far away, she came over with Michael her husband, brought wine, and made me dinner. Then we drank the "Josh" bottle of wine so that it would be gone forever from my house. I really wanted to smash it on the pavement and shout ASSHOLE!!! but I thought that would be a little too dramatic and I didn't want to have to clean up the glass (also maybe there are cute guys in my neighborhood?). I never did hear from him.

Went to Coeur d'Alene for Caitlin's bachelorette party, and had a great time. Check out the action I got at the country bar.

This old man tried to dance with every girl in there. Can't blame him. He taught me how to two step to Hank Williams, Jr's "Family Tradition" which is one of my favorites, but I think I would have preferred to sing it at the top of my lungs with the other drunk/happy bar-goers.

I'm working on a #5 and a #6, maybe even a #7. Got a few bites today that might be keepers. Or at least hold me over for a bit.

One last note, #4 got demoted in my phone from his actual name back to #4. Just in case he ever does does decide to text me, I'll know to send him threatening emojis.

The fun doesn't end

OMG the dolphin pictures! Just got a message from this guy! 

Creeper status

Well, I ended up seeing #4 after work Tuesday for dinner, which again was a good time. I had burned two CDs for him that we had been talking about (and he actually plays CDs in his car), and he gave me this bottle of wine. So that was a nice surprise mutual gift-giving thing.

#4's name is Josh

We have plans to get together tomorrow night for a bonfire at his house. I think with his roommate and neighbors. I had Anya download the "Find Friends" app and so now she can see where I am at all times. Kind of creepy, but at least she can monitor me for abduction tomorrow night. Also, it's kind of good because living alone, I always wonder what would happen if I died or disappeared over the weekend when Pergo (my roommate) is gone? (He is gone quite frequently - more than he is here). Now at least if there is suspicion, Anya can look and see where to send the police.

Right now I'm at home.

We usually text quite a bit, but I haven't hear from #4 since 4pm about a truck he is thinking of buying. I think he needs to get a vehicle in the next week. He also had softball tonight, but I texted him around 5:30 and still have not heard back. I am getting a little bit annoyed, but it reminds me that perhaps I don't need to text him quite so much, so I got on POF and tended to the new messages that I had since I haven't signed in since Monday.

Here are some pictures I came across:

 

High School Senior Photo?           Just Weird.                      Dolphin Love. <3        

Gross, not attractive.        Well, I love my cat too.      Sweet chest hair.  

         DUCK FACE!!!           Might like dolphins too.

So, after being a bit discouraged, I decided to do a bit of Facebook stalking on #4 and found out after his softball game, he went to the woods for a bonfire.

No, we are not Facebook friends, nor does he know that I found his page. I think he made it un-searchable like his POF page, which makes my stalking almost as creepy as the Find Friends app that I had Anya download.

Lucky Number 4?

Well I wish I had been updating more because I don't like to recap so many days at once. I haven't had too much online activity because I've been working a lot. 

Saturday, I met Melissa (and Matt) and Anya (and Michael) Saturday for happy hour. We ended up doing a bit of bar hopping and at one point was at Black Raven Brewery in Redmond, and #3 had been texting me a bit, so I told him we were there. He was nice, but it wasn't quite right. This is a group text I got while we were sitting around the table talking:

Michael wanted to hang out with him more but I think the rest of us were ready to part ways. We ended up at Malarky's (I <3 Malarky's) listening to mostly bad and selfish karaoke.

What is selfish karaoke you ask? Well, selfish karaoke is when someone sings a depressing song that instead of pumping the crowd up, brings everyone down a few notches and usually takes you to the bottom of your beer. It might be good for the bar, but it's not good for morale!

Anyways, for the good stuff. Yesterday afternoon, I met #4 for lunch. At approximately 1:30 and we were there until almost 4! It was fun, we talked the whole time about all sorts of different things. We were texting almost immediately after. I went home and did some work and then he invited me to meet him at the dog park. So we were hanging out again by about 6:00 and I didn't leave Snoqualmie until after 10:30! It was so fun! 

I'm sure you are wondering but don't want to ask - 1) I did not go to his house (I will get a GPS tracker app that Anya can watch before I do that). And 2) no we did not kiss but I am not going to be putting that sort of stuff up since this is the internet!! And also because Aunt Patty reads this!

Another date? We might get coffee this afternoon if I have a little break. I hope so because I don't want to wait till Friday to see him again! (He invited me to a bonfire friday night. At his house I think so I need to get on that stalker app ASAP.)

Just a side note: Sunday, I went to Target with this shopping list:

In Issaquah, we have to pay for bags now, so this is what happens when you are too cheap to pay 5¢ for a paper bag. Or you want to save the trees.

Thanks for reading!

Big Oops!

I meant to text Anya:

But as you may be able to guess from the title of this blog, I had an oops moment. It follows below:

At least I didn't write "I was up late texting #3 and #4 again" because that would require a lot more explaining!

Froyo Date with #3

Monday night, I met #3 at a nice little froyo place in Redmond. It was fun, lighthearted, and we sat on their patio chatting for 2 1/2 hours, in fact they had to ask us to leave so they could clear the patio furniture. So that's a good sign. I learned that he loves the color green and sour things, so he got key lime yogurt and it was way too sour for me. His mom is a nurse practitioner and his step dad a pulmonologist (I think) and so he comes from quite a medical background. I would definitely go out with him again, and he mentioned planning a hike and/or meal and/or beer.

I have also been texting quite a bit with #4 (work hard snowboard), who seems to be quite funny. We seemed to have an unusually long conversation about camels.

And also about the overuse of "lol" and "haha," which was a funny conversation that actually made me laugh out loud, and I didn't know how to express that since lol seems to have lost a lot of its meaning.

So #4 and I were trying to figure out a time to meet up, and we both don't have the same free night until next Friday, the 17th (which I may not be free for anyway). I guess with online dating it is casual. I don't know how this works, what if I go out with #3 again? I guess there are no rules about not seeing #4 but I have never done that before (seeing people in between each other) I don't think. 

Date tomorrow with #3

No-date Wednesday

Well #3 cancelled on me last night...said he was at work until 8:30. In his defense, he did give me the heads up about it being a possibility a few days ago. I think he might be a chicken and need to grow some you know what!

So instead I got on my POF app and started chatting with workhard_snowboard, who is now more affectionately known as #4. He seems nice. He likes to get up at 4 am and drink coffee and take his dog for a walk.

Seattleblah sent me a third (long) message, this time pointing out that I hadn't yet responded to him and telling me again that he works for NASA. Sorry buddy, the rocket scientist line doesn't work on me!

Funny picture for the day:

clarification

Just felt the need to clarify, I thought no1butnik was "Number 1 Butnik". However, like Natalie pointed out to me, I think he meant it as "No one but Nik." Oops! Haha! I wonder if he knows the play on words he has created!

no1butnik

Let's start with screennames. Here is just a screenshot of the last few messages in my inbox.

Not that I'm a master at screennames. Mine is purplekim00. Don't laugh, it's hard to come up with a name that isn't already taken! Plus, I like purple. So maybe I can forgive these guys a bit, except for no1butnik, I don't get that.

That's all for today. Busy day at work. Seeing #3 tomorrow night!

you can't trust someone that doesn't like ice cream!

So today, a friend of mine Laura (also single) sent me a link to this blog: 40 Days of Dating. I am only up to Day 8 but I'm hooked. So I texted Anya about the blog and she said:

So here I am....although originally designed as a running blog, I think my online dating blog will be much more interesting. I am considering password protecting it and emailing it to those wanting to follow. So if you're reading this, consider yourself lucky.

I may throw a little running in, because it seems that I may be getting back into it. Tammy (running friend, instructor in chiropractic school) convinced me to do the Vegas Ultra Ragnar (200 miles, 6 person teams - btw Laurel we are looking for one more if you're interested), so I will start running again as soon as my tummy settles down.

Back to my online dating. 

Today #1 texted to ask if Aimee's stool culture came back and what it was. On our date, he made me share my symptoms via text with his brother who is a super smart doctor. His brother guessed giardiasis. I am thinking a strong case of good old fashioned traveler's diarrhea. Anyways, I am still uncomfortable with having talked about my week long bout with diarrhea over french fries and potato nachos (which were sure to cause said diarrhea). Oh well, he asked. I'm not sure yet if I'll go out with him again. Also, he told me that it annoys him when kids want to pet his dog. Other than that, nice guy, fun time.

#3 texts me on and off, just about daily. I have been letting him initiate conversation, and it our conversations are always funny and make me laugh. Also, he loves ice cream.

So far our plan is to go out Wednesday night to Malarky's to watch people sing karaoke. I'm glad Sophie isn't here because she would want to steal him since he is funny and cute. 

Melissa didn't like the pillow photo but Maddie thought it was cute, so I included it.

If you're wondering about #2, we went out Saturday, but I wasn't feeling it. It's possible there is a #4 on the horizon but I am waiting to see how #3 is on Wednesday.

Also, just wanted to include this photo, to prove way more guys take mirror photos than girls.